Friday, July 5, 2013

A long December and there's reason to believe maybe this year will be better than the last....

  Well, may not be December anymore, but as fast as this year it going we'll be upon it again in no time. Some good news is my white blood cell count has stayed in normal range for a year now. A whole year with my auto-immune issues/inflammation under control. I'll admit, I'm a big emotional about it. After the UCTD kicked in in Feb 2009, I honestly always had this underlying feeling of despair that I would always be suffering. Always on tons of medications to treat it. Never free.
  I talk about faith so much, guess I should brush up on it. I'm thankful, grateful and so incredibly blessed to be at this point. I'm not cured. It's still there. "Remission" is the term my Rheumatologist gives. *shrugs* At the moment I don't hurt and I'm down to one medication to treat it and no more infusions of chemo drugs; I call this a win, even if it's temporary.
  Because of the remission, I've gotten to feel like I have control of my life again. Last year I took stage combat lessons which I loved and hope I can afford to get back into again. I spent the first three months of this year working out at Sherwood Forest Faire doing pretty much hard manual labor for no pay; something I didn't think I would ever be able to physically survive again... but I did. After my right elbow surgery in December to take out the deteriorated muscle and tissues (and a bone spur they found) from my 10 years of sword fighting with Amtgard, it's as close to new as I could hope it to be. I rocked physical therapy and as long as I keep using it regularly (as opposed to constantly assuming the typing at a keyboard position), it gives me no pain.
  Lots of things have changed in the last year; some good and some bad. Most I can't discuss here. I think I'm on the right path now and if it turns out I'm not, I'm open to altering my steps to see where they lead me. I'm reinforcing in myself to do more of the things that make me happy and feel right and where I feel I belong. As I try to reinforce in J, it's not selfish to put yourself first because once you're taking care of "you", there's LOTS leftover to look after others and help them find their happy. Good things are here as well as coming. I still give them no choice.
  I miss C. Really hope the universe is treating her well. Still have to find a way to get her dress back to her too. Maybe through her Aunt C.
  Through new friends I've gotten to meet a whole lot of new awesome folks: more people out at Sherwood Forest Faire and now the Jomsborg Viking crew through JJ and Z who I met at Sherwood. All fantastic people I and I in both places I can find a way to contribute as they're all amazing folk. Amtgard and the Order of the White Rose used to be my family. Would like to find another reenactment group again to be a part of that has the ideals of sticking together, looking out for one another, and having fun. Would just love to be in a group I can help out again. Organizing and running events was awesome. From peeling potatoes for feast to gate duty to overall making it happen... every part was worth every moment when you hear what an amazing time everyone had. I just love bringing people together *smiles*
  My life is good. I'm happy. Things just keep getting better. The parts that aren't shiny will work themselves out one way or another and I'll be grateful for the time spent no matter how the final page reads. I very much look forward to continue writing my story.

There's never an end, only new beginnings.

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